REAL Young Men
18 Mar 11
Character Lesson How REAL Men Treat Women
Intro: Explain purpose of the REAL Young Men’s group. Radical faith, Empowered by the Holy Spirit, Ambassador for Christ, Life—Jesus is life!
“Our mission and passion is to chase after God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to tell the good news of Jesus Christ to others, and guide/encourage those who believe, to full maturity in Him.”
Video Clip: (from REAL Young Men Blog) John Piper – Where are the Faithful young men?
Tonight we will focus on the character quality of honoring women.
Video clip—“Caleb yelling at wife” from Fireproof
Discussion Questions:
What was Caleb’s problem?
Why did he mistreat his wife like this? He was blinded in his sexual addiction. Anger is a common by product of sexual sin. When we walk in the Spirit (Gal 5: 16, 22-23) we will not do the works of the flesh.
Is this how a real man treats a woman? No, this is an example of how a coward-a man running from God, an immature man, mistreats a woman.
What does the Bible say as to how Caleb should have treated his wife?
1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Let’s look at two examples in the Bible of how to treat women.
First, let’s look at an example in Jesus’ life
Jesus as fully God and fully man redefines women in the culture of His day. Women in Jesus day were to serve men. In this passage, Martha was fulfilling this role. Mary, on the other hand was in the wrong, at least from a cultural point of view. Jesus praises Mary for her apparent lack of obedience. She chose to sit a Jesus feet and listen to the Master. Jesus affirms her choice.
Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.
39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.
40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things,
42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.
39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.
40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things,
42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
So, we too, as REAL Men must view women like Jesus did. He treasured women. He valued them not based on culture or religion, but based on His “life-defining” agape love.
Do you treat women like Jesus did?
Now, let’s look at Solomon as our second example
Solomon expertly built the temple for God. He built his own house. He did everything with God’s supernaturally given wisdom. He then prayed one of the most insightful and powerful prayers recorded in the Bible, 1 Kings 8.
Then his dedication and purity, his wholeheartedness for God fails. He disobeys God by going after women. Then in turn all of Solomon’s women draw his heart away from God.
1 Kings 11:1-4 (NIV)
1 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter--Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites.
2 They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.
3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
1 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter--Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites.
2 They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.
3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
Solomon started out loving God. What happened?
Jesus was clear about how a REAL Man loves:
Mark 12:28-31 (NIV)
28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
29 "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'
31 The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
29 "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'
31 The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
A REAL Man first of all loves God, then a real man loves people—he loves and honors women—he loves and honors men.
So, let’s come back to Caleb in the movie, Fireproof. How does Caleb make things right? How does he become a REAL man?
Video clip—“Caleb’s Apology” from Fireproof
Okay, young men, lets get real…The Challenge for today:
Guys, in the near future two gorgeous teenage Iranian girls will become a part of our church--Babak’s two daughters.
How will they be treated here in the American culture? What kind of love will they see in our church culture? Guys this is a test given by the heavenly Father to us. How will you treat these two beautiful girls? You can figure out how you will treat these two girls by looking at how you are treating the girls/women in your life now. How are you treating your Moms? How are you treating your sisters? How are you treating the girls at church or at school?
Guys, these two girls need to be treated with dignity and honor and respect. They need to be treated with the love of Christ! They need to see how Christ loves and values them.
Pray for God’s Holy Spirit to first of all lead us to truth about loving women. Then, ask God to make us REAL men who love and honor women like He does. We ask this for the purpose of glorifying God’s name—we ask this in Jesus name. Amen.